I have a habit of sending myself emails that act as journal entires of sorts. I find myself typing the thoughts and sending them to myself when I am away from my journal or stuck at a computer. I did this act most consistently when I worked at an advertising agency. I would spend hours a day at my desk, bored, and would spend my time writing, appearing to work.I came across this particular “diary entry” that expresses my emotional state during a particularly difficult time in my life.
I was still playing around with the xtranormal.com site, pairing certain content and see how the juxtapositions read. I decided to use the text from this entry as a sort of monologue for the monotone actor that plays me. I was able to choose a green screen backdrop for the video, so I superimposed it on top of the home videos of me dancing as a child.
When combined, it speaks to the loss of innocence that occurs when we grow up. We never consider the hard ships and traumas that we face as an adult, and perhaps take for granted our naivety. It is almost as if their pairing gives me to opportunity to talk to my younger self.
After talking briefly with Cynthia about this initial investigation, I was encouraged to think about my decision is choosing an avatar to represent my “present” self. Initially I wanted to use it to represent the fact that the piece of writing was generated and stored digitally. I also am interested in the emotionless quality of the avatar, as it reveals some deeply personal information. That being said, we did discuss the performative nature that a piece like this could take. I promise to entertain the idea over break.